I remember everything, to a fault. Every word, every face, and all the good times, bad, and every damn harsh, unkind, and uncalled for things that I've ever said or done. I'm not a bad guy and in my life, I've tried so hard not to hold any grudges or anger. Most people I know actually like me, at least that's what they say? In return, I'll like them back for sure because they deserve to be liked. I'm always just a bit too emotional though and a little lost in my own head and heart. I always have this wanting on how things could be or should, and never content with how they are.
To me, content is mostly similar to boredom. I just want everything more out of the world, my family, my friends, and mostly important, me! And the truth is, I'm the hardest one to get it from. I just don't understand this. Sometimes, things always get said from both sides, way worse than what the fight was about, which is nothing, really. I am not happy to say that, every human that exist in this world is just different. That's okay though. Sometimes I just want to push the disconnect switch, as if I can find one. Then I have been thinking a lot, come home and spend the precious time with family and friends, somehow I was connected again.
I just don't want to turn it off anymore. Even though I'm still sad, but I will soak it in later on. To be a human, it's a trip. I will try to make it good, changing the world in little steps. Insyaallah
