I always try to give my best to love and respect people around me. I've been to so many ups and downs in life for the past 21 years, and I've learned a lot from the mistakes I made, so I improve myself. I wonder why people do things, bad things exactly. I was ditched, dissed, and even alienated. It's very confusing, indeed. I never learn how to hate people, and have not been taught to hate people. Never. Personally, there is no point for me to hate someone. The word 'Hatred' never existed in my mind, and will never have.
I don't expect, so I give instead. I don't order, so I advise instead. I never demand, so I ask instead. But hey, reality check Joy. This is life. There's always bullshit, here there and everywhere. How do you expect something from someone? If you don't expect and always give, what's to stop people from using you? This is some weird idealization where someone can easily take, and you will never receive what you want in turn. Because we all have needs, we all have desires, we ought to not only work on fulfilling another's desire, but also find someone who is willing to do the same in turn.
For love is meant to be free, so I can't change its nature. It is a lesson that may take my forever lifetime to truly practice. I must sincerely feel no expectations from those who I loved, and yet an unconditional caring. Go with the flow, Joy. Remember, good thing always comes slowly. Stop setting the bar high and let the time heal all wounds. When the time is right, you will have your chance to be happy, the chances to be you again.
In a mean time, nobody move, nobody get hurt. Now is the right time to not to be too clingy. It's time to let you go.
"Flames to dust, lovers to friends. Why do all good things come to an end?"
